I was wrong about me
feeling better. If anything, the situation has possibly got worse. What I
perceived to be improvement is really a dramatic mood swing. The sensitivity
situation is perhaps getting worse. The smallest things make me incredibly happy
and the slightest hint of disapproval brings it back to unbearable sadness.
Irritability is growing. Not really sure what to do anymore. I understand that I’m
annoying a lot of people, but I really don’t know how to stop it. I just wish
they’d be nicer to me. I’m not going to sound like a whiny twat going around
yelling “Say ONLY nice things to me while I feel like crap, because right now
EVERYTHING is about me”, but I the problem is, I really want to. I want people
to say nice things and make me feel nice and sympathise with me. I REALLY do.
And that’s the most frustrating bit. I want more attention from my family and
friends and my dog and my boyfriend. I want them to repeatedly reassure me and
tell them that they love me. It’s pathetic, but this is a journal, and I’m
supposed to write down my feelings. So there.
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